Januarythirtyoneseventyrg"~e


Danl


   Gol, howzitgoin?
   Spose the beef business isn't exactly booming. Too bad. Well ifn
youse can just hang on a coupla years. Or start a publicity program with
full-color ads in Ladies Home Journal and Playboy--make a fat steer a
status symbol--get the average clod out there in suburbia to sell his
1973 Mercury Monterrey and ride to work on a half ton of beer. No pollution,
He could power his electric toothbrush off electricity generated by
burning methane produced from the beefshit. When his "car" wears out he
could eat it. Instead of monstrous blacktop parkinglots sprawling all over
cityscapes, we'd have pleasant meadows and pastures where the animals would
get refueled for the trip home after work. Freeways would become wide
cowpaths. Instead or the Cadillac, the apex of status would be owned by
Charolais. The average factory worker or insurance salesman would, of
course, have to ride to work on an Angus or a White-face. Public transport
would consist of small herds circulated on marked paths by employing good
English Shepherd dogs as drivers. Nobody has even stopped in this mad time
of economic recession to consider the rate of unemployment in DOGS.
Estimates made by university research teams indicate it may be as high as
75% or more. Let's get these goodfor nothings off welfare! Service stations
would sell baled hay or (premium) grain. What you need is a good P.R. man.

     And me, I'm settin out to be a bee farmer. Notice that the difference
between us is simply a matter of an "f". The etymology of letters is very
interesting -- the Greek delta comes from the Hebraic Daleth, a letter
named for the entrance to the tents used by the nomadic tribes of Israel,
which entrance they called the Daleth. The "f'' you will of course recognize
as resembling the crozier, symbol of a Bishop's power. So you have one more
bishop than I. However, King's Knight to Queen's Bishop two. Check.
Or money order. No stamps, please.
     Jake is working at a local nursing home. If you haven't anything to
do sometime get a bunch of Tunas together and come up to Wisconsin for awhile.


                                           Kenneljake