How to speak Laigtsagye

Laigtsagye is a preverted form of English. It is written exactly like English, and some of the letters are pronounced as they would be in English, but some aren't. The following table shows how letters are pronounced in Laigtsagye. A dash in the pronounciation field indicates that the Laigtsagyen pronounciation is the same as in English.

Table 37

Written EnglishLaigtsagyen pronounciation
aa as in father
ee as in Spanish pero, or e as in English bet
ii as in week, or i as in pin
jj as in French je
ni as in week, or i as in pin
oo as in old, or as in Spanish odio
pr as in English or tap r as in Spanish pero
rya as in Yahtzee
wsh as in fish
xx as in Spanish Mexico
yu as in food

Final e preceded by a consonant is pronounced yeh as in yellow. For the rule to apply, the sound before the final e must be a consonant phonetically. The rule doesn't apply to written consonants which are prononunced as vowels (the letters n, y, and r), but does apply to written vowels which are pronounced as consonants (the letter u).


cake -> sak-ye
cave -> sats-ye
clue -> sl-tsye
acne -> a-si-e
care -> sa-ya-e
Lafayette -> la-fau-e-tye
language -> laig-tsa-gye

When the i or u sound is next to another vowel sound, it sometimes merges with the other vowel to form a diphthong, so that both vowels belong to the same syllable. But sometimes it doesn't. The conditions, if any, under which diphthongization occurs or doesn't occur are not known, since Laigtsayen phonology has not received a lot of attention or funding. Most people consider the topic confused and boring anyway.


cane -> sa-ye
Baynes -> Vau-yes
grimy -> gyai-mu
tuna -> t-tsi-a
diphthongization -> dirn-tnoi-gi-za-ti-oi
Lafayette -> la-fau-e-tye
language -> laig-tsa-gye

A good way to learn Laigtsagye is by reading road signs out loud with a Laigtsagyen pronounciation. While learning Laigtsagye may not be a very useful activity, at least it can help kill time on road trips. However, on long road trips, it's a good idea to be considerate of the other passengers. Most people react to discussions of Laigtsagye by changing the subject or finding an excuse to leave.

Handy Phrases

Click on the sentences below to listen to samples of spoken Laigtsagye.

Speed limit 55.
Do you want to go downtown?
You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.
May I please piss on your colors?
The lead tuna is stuck in the vacuum cleaner.

Known speakers of Laigtsagye include: Lee Shirey, Gary Napper, Bill Mills, Dan Garner, and Sam Shone.