How to speak Ramkwich

Ramkwich is based on spoken, rather than written English. Basically, Ramkwich replaces voiced consonants with their voiced counterparts, and vice versa. So, p and b are switched, as are t and d, k and g, s and z, and so on. Some other consonants are also interchanged. Vowels are left unchanged. Like Laigtsagye, Ramkwich is intended mainly to inhibit human communication.

The following table illustrates the voiced/unvoiced preversions.

Table 17

unvoiced voiced
p b
t d
k g
ch dj
sh zh
f v
th dh

Other preversions.

Table 17.37

r l
m n
y h
w x

These rules are superceded by the rule that the most absurd pronunciation is the correct one.

The name Ramkwich is a preversion of the English word language, as you can see from the table. Another example is "pretty girl", which becomes something like "bloody killer" (no, I'm not a nizochymizd).

You can make up your own preversions, since nobody actually speaks Ramkwich anyway, and if they did it would help make things more confusing.

Known speakers of Ramkwich: Lee Shirey, Carl Pollard, Gary Napper, and Bill Jackson.